Did you hear the saying #imamother? 100% heard! Anna Pavlyuk also heard it, moreover, in her address. We propose, on its example, to see if they are so simple, these “yards”, as it may seem at first glance. The diary of Anin’s activities is not limited to caring work, and she’s very time-consuming. About life and admiration from conscious mother, pedagogue, moderator, amateur artist and public activist Anna Pavlyuk
“My child is two and a half years old. I am one of the moderator of the group “Moms and Dads of Zhytomyr”. I am a little bit in this group as a teacher: I use good posts, systematize, follow the discipline of communication, so that people in the heat do not offend each other, and discussions are conducted in a constructive way”
“Modern parents have advantages: access to adequate information. Now, those who really want to find information will do it. Little example. I was presented with a “kangaroobie” before giving birth to a child. When I received the child in my arms, I did not have experience, I did not have friends with children, and at all, I was afraid of young children. (Laughs) Such is a “childish fob”. And the newborn is still skinny, roaches and legs owes. And I had doubts, so I started to cheat: how to carry a child in the “kangaroobie”. It was good and understandable that I will wear only sling. I searched for one, and after treating a huge amount of information, I found something completely different. Now there is such a possibility, there are specialized groups, and earlier – in open access only the dubious “wisdom”, which was passed from mouth to mouth. It could have been completely absurd things that were transmitted under the guise of a great truth that is difficult to verify. Now you can subscribe to a dozen doctors and have the right info”
“With the child, I discovered things that were doing wrong. Since my childhood, I have often had ARDs that were treated with a whole “packaged” pill. Self-appointed antibiotics and an enormous amount of pills – this was my treatment. I thought for what so much praise Komarovsky? Well, I’ll look. Then I found out that viruses are not treated with antibiotics. And many other elementary truths. It turned out that he is just the most famous, but there are a huge number of doctors who write chic evidentiary articles with references to research. Well, why, for 26 years, I lived completely differently?”
“I began to read many articles on psychology. When I read about resistance and frustration, I thought: “Annie, it’s about you!” Of course, reading for the sake of a two-year-old child, but it’s about me, about my loved ones. We all live through these simple laws that have long been described, but for 26 years we tell ourselves that we can not cry because powerful people do not cry. And then it turns out that letting go of her emotions with tears, you let her go, you will live it, you will accept it, and then you will be restored much faster and you will be able to go forward. And all this gave me the child, having appeared on the world”
“With Julia Kruchak we met on the” Red Lamp “. Then, in both, children appeared almost synchronously, followed by new themes: sling, snot. She then was going to spend the second “ArTherapy”, though she had been with a child. I wrote to her that I will help, as I can. I thought I could clean or do something simple. She replied: “Here is a direction for you, get engaged. Organize people – Required performances related to paternity. ” It was very unexpected, but people quickly gathered. The festival has given me a confirmation that I can communicate with different people and different people to organize. That is, make a puzzle in a beautiful picture”
“One day our group was called” Mummies of Zhytomyr “, and then we changed the name. Children do not multiply budding, the child appears in a man and a woman. And my dad is also trying to do something, plunged into the topic. We have dads who are actively involved in the group and upbringing. It’s cool that they are interested in their children, and do not sit on the thrones with the words: “I am the head, the breadwinner, and you’re changing the diapers!” Sometimes we, mothers, are discouraged by ourselves, so there is discrimination: we are chosen, we are mummy. Now the band is called “Mum and Daddy”
“There used to be poetry evenings. They were arranged by Oksana Haggia, they were “Red Lamps”. There Oksana Naumenko saw there. I read her works a bit, I really liked what she wrote, and how she writes, how she feeds. Comrades somewhere in social networks, after one of the arrivals of Zhadan, it seems. So got into the theater “SurTuk”
“I can not say that I love more – poetry or prose. And about the beloved author, too, I will not say: at any time, his favorite author. For some time better prose, for some – poetry. Just by inspiration from one to the other you pass and take away a little”
“Once my favorite author was Lermontov, without his love of the university he loved, wrote his thesis papers. At school, the first serious conflict with a teacher happened to me after studying “Hero of our time.” In the textbook Pechorin was a very bad guy, very bad. And when I read it, I was sick of it. I understood that he was not just so bad. Throughout all the places he moved, he changed. If you read in chronological order, everything is not so perceived! I defended Pechorin as a miserable person, and not as a scumbag from the beginning; for this, I received a “deuce” and a statement: “You did not read!”
“Nowadays many people do not fit into the patterns,” superfluous people. ” Everyone can feel unnecessary in some place, so just another place to look for. I already look at life differently, for me it is not 18. But Lermontov played his part – gave me some emotional disorientation. I was suffering with him, he cured him, catharsis worried. And then we dispersed”(Laughs)
“Three years I taught children the literature. Pedagogical activity is very interesting, because you give a lot of emotionally. It is difficult. Especially when you are a novice teacher, you do not have an established base, you read each product, as for the first time, you approach each issue as the first time. You are preparing, and it takes a lot of time physically. And emotionally, in every lesson, you give too much, because such a property of a teacher is to give, to light. If you see the return, this is great, but if it is not … You understand that you can not submit the material interestingly, and you have 30 students, and everyone has their own interests, everyone has to look for an approach, he must be divided into 30 parts and to expose in different variants. It’s emotionally depleting”
“After some time at school I saw the difference in the students’ work, I saw how their thoughts are changing. I was very interesting girl. She was silent, rarely answered, but wrote very interestingly. At the same time, she had such a handwriting that I could spend an hour sitting on her work to decipher. That is, the first step was to encrypt the encryption, and then I re-read it again. I understood that a year ago, when I was just starting to work, she did not give such gorgeous things. And in general, how can a child 11 years old produce such interesting things? But still emotional return was far from always. It is also worth noting that the work of the teacher is completely unprofitable, to put it mildly. And if you want to earn, then you need to drown some huge amount of hours. And then you will not be able to develop physically, and even eat some other everyday things to do”
“For me, it was not so important that the children knew the material, although it was not very” instructive. ” It is not important to know which writer was born, when and when he wrote or moved to a city, or how the literary direction in which he worked was called. It is much more important that the children sympathize, experienced – an emotional component. The events in the book – they are not real, but what we feel when we read – these feelings are real. They can substantially change people. This is the first. And secondly, one must think critically”
“Children are accustomed to trusting teachers unquestioningly in most of them. As the teacher said, they immediately repeat. They repeat what is written in a book or a textbook. For each lesson, I invented some kind of “mini-base”. For example, he told the children that this writer wrote the following in such a book and asked: “Yes?” They, of course, agreed. Then I said it was not true. Initially, such an approach greatly confused them. Then they got used to it, and I was happy when they started to argue, to prove something. Actually, this is what I saw in my favor, not in the study of texts”
“I learned my life, taught everyone. I recalled that once I had a strong period of resistance, I criticized everything, it was very bad for me that I could not enjoy life. And I was familiar with whom we did not even talk so much, but he taught me one important thing. He said: “If you see something that you do not like, criticize, then you first see how you can do better. Then all your criticism will go in a constructive way. If you can do better, try to do it, and if not, what is your attitude towards criticism at all?”
“I broke my life in 13 parts, focusing on the people who were in my life, and realized that each of them was my student, and I learned from them. Perhaps there were among them those who were never perceived as teachers, but this man gave me something important. I just sat down and registered by names, by periods, and understood how important things they brought to my life. And I evolved with them”
“I was a participant of the project” Hard to become “. He went to see if it was “not for the detachment” to check on what was going to happen. I thought, if I really see something useful, I would suggest cooperation. My expectations were justified”
“Recently, I turned my box over, in which there were magazines with my printed texts. In the eyes of one text, in which the woman was compared with a crystal vase. I wrote that there are women who are created to make someone happy. There was a phrase like “I’m sorry for women who have been destroyed by feminism.” Previously, I saw feminists as a “battle-woman”, which all pulls on and hates men. In fact, feminism is not about it. Feminism is about equality in rights and responsibilities, the absence of gender discrimination. That the girls were not told that they would not drag the technical specialty. We had a boyfriend on a regular basis at the Philippe, and there were only two of them on the group: “Why did you come to the philharek? There was nowhere to go any further? There was not enough intelligence? “As if it were a women’s profession, it’s ashamed. Five years ago, I told one acquaintance that I would never become a feminist. She then said: “You are a smart girl. Grow a little. ” Have recently laughed at each other for this”
“Feminism is different. I’m not for the promotion of purely women. Let’s just treat a person not as a man and a woman, but as a person. Everyone is different. And it’s not necessary from the childhood to force boys to love cars, and girls do not have to tell that “the girl should always be pretty.” Just every person is a person, and let everyone choose what they like and work in this direction”
“We are talking a lot about responsible paternity now. And this is not about the undeniable correctness, but about the realization of what is happening: if I do so, I will have such effects, and in another way, and the consequences of others. For example, you can understand that cartoons and sweet are not the best for a child. But in a particular situation, for example, when you are on the road and there is nothing else, you can take a child or give a candy. Now, in fact, there are a lot of responsible parents, though everyone has a level of responsibility. Responsibility is consciousness. When you are aware of the elemental cause-and-effect chain, you can do wrong, but you understand your responsibility and accept it. Of course, conscious parents are struggling to make sure that the child is as good as possible”
“In fact, the child does not have to try to provide the ideal world around, because when they then go out of this ideal world into our real, they think:” God, wherever I came or got it”
“My great grandmother is from Zhytomyr, and I was born in Rivne, went back to school again in Zhytomyr. I was nostalgic for a long time after the city of childhood. But now, especially recently, I see how Zhytomyr is changing, and some time later I realized that I began to love him, I start somehow very warmly to him. Yes, we have holes, puddles, there are hammams, but there are beautiful places: streets on Mikhailovskaya, graffiti, park … Everywhere, the city changes gradually due to people who grow older and change themselves”
Translated by Aliona Matushevich
