Let’s not start discussions on the topic of «Modern Woman»! Because women themselves choose what they want to be. Some people like to create home comfort, some people want to make a career, there are women who see their vocation in art. It is important to understand, to feel your own – something that makes your heart flutter. Lyubov Rudakova – head of the representative office of an international company, mother of three children, artist has won the right to be different and is ready to share ways of learning about the world
«I work as a manager in a German company. This is a world-famous structure. When in 2007 the company’s management decided to open a branch in Ukraine, I was offered a job. I opened a representative office and have been working as a director for 14 years. The company’s activities related to metallurgy are a serious business and quite tough»
«I have my own leadership style. I would say that he is sincere. Despite the external rigidity, I have a rich inner world and a good ability to feel people. I try not to press – I let them «swim out». Help, support, but still act yourself. As a result, both the company and I, as a leader, get much more: a person grows and then feels grateful… Although we are all about the same age, they are afraid of me. They are treated with respect, because they know that I will tear my head off»
«I created my own way of life – rowing like a frog in a proverb that beats milk. I did not even row in milk, but in whey. Usually men are frogs almost in cream, and women are frogs in whey, if not in water. Women need to spin much more. I didn’t understand this before, I considered this state of affairs to be the norm, because that was my social center and the conditions in which I grew up. When I came to the metallurgical plants, where almost only men work, as the general director, I felt terrible contempt: she called me both a translator and even a «secret». At first she cried, and then she said to herself, «Well, ok, what can I do about it? I can’t change these people, they will only get experience working with me. If they want, they will change their mind». These were painful inner moments. Now I can explain everything, and then everything was on some intuitive level… A year and a half later the situation became different – the attitude towards me changed. It is good that the work was active and it took a year for the attitude to change, and I was seen from the other side. In general, in life it takes much more time»
«In English there is the word «dignity», which concentrates a lot: it is dignity, pride, self-understanding. This is a very important word for women. For myself now I reveal all aspects of understanding this word… »
«I am from Zhytomyr: I have lived in Zhytomyr since 1978.… When we moved here, I was six years old. I went to school here, graduated and never left again»
«One of my best qualities is the ability to structure and systematize. From a large flow of information, I can quickly choose what I want, make a plan, put everyone in place, organize work and achieve effective results… I do what I can, the way I can, and where I am. And when I think I did everything I could, I calm down. It doesn’t make sense to spend my own resources, because not everything depends on me. That is, the sun exists 24 hours a day, but at night it is not visible in the sky. And even if it’s flaky, I won’t hang it there… In such cases I take a piece of paper, a pen and write what I can do – one, two, three, four. Then near each point, each problem, I write, whether it is urgent, urgent, or can wait; how long can I wait and accumulate resources in this place. I appreciate the importance of the problem: is it for me or for me to be pushed by social tension, and I feel that everything is wrong. That is, here, first of all, it is important for me to listen to myself, assess the situation soberly and make a decision»
«There is no word «perfect» in my vocabulary: instead I say «it suits me». And we have been accustomed to this for a long time: «You have to do everything perfectly». Damn, how perfect? That’s how? The word «perfect» is a label that hangs in front of you all your life and you run after it, not understanding why and when it will end. I think it is very important to give yourself the right to make a spontaneous decision and not punish yourself for it. This cursed perfectionism, instilled in us all, and especially women, is destructive. We see that we work on an equal footing with men, but we do not achieve something; where men can afford to make a blunder, we strive for the ideal. And it is very good to come at some point in life to the fact that the ideal does not exist»
«At some point I realized that the quality of my life did not suit me. I began to study many different theories to improve it. We had a practice when we had to cut pictures from different magazines and make a collage called «Me and the outside world». When I looked at the finished picture, I started laughing hysterically: one of the illustrations, cut from a magazine, was about an insurance company. It had a picture of the family – mom, dad, two children, cars and the inscription: «35-year warranty». I was just shaken, because at one point I realized: this is what I want so much from life. I wanted everything to be stable. The longer the better. But there are no guarantees in this life at all! As soon as you find the most acceptable option for yourself, you think, «Now I have medicine». No, there is no «cure»: the next minute something can happen to you, you can do it spontaneously. And then you will ask yourself: «And what was it now?»… There are no guarantees in this life for anyone. I am still in the process of understanding the total impermanence of everything around me. As a «controller», I still need time to learn to live in harmony with it»
«There are things we can’t change. I spent a lot of time and practice realizing that I have always been the one who saves everyone. My former director said, «You’re like Mother Teresa – you always need more than anyone, you have to save everyone». At some point in my life, I realized that this should not be done without asking. «Catch up and save» – this principle does not work. Not even because I can run out of resources (there were always a lot of forces and resources until a certain point). It’s just that everyone has the right to their own way, and it’s worth accepting»
«Sometimes I still want to control everything, but I have good teachers. My children keep putting me back in place, they are the best teachers. It is very important for parents to understand the quality of their life and change it if possible, if it does not suit them, because children live with you in this. By changing the quality of their lives, parents change the lives of their children. This is how we create a society of a completely different level»
«I love people with an open mind – these are people who are interested in living. This quality, in my experience, does not die. A person can die, and this quality dies with it. That is, a person in both 60 and 70 is interesting to live, it is: «Oh, what is this?» I adore such people, they are alive, open, it is always interesting to communicate with them. Probably because I’m the same»
«Parents usually think that they should realize some of their unrealized dreams through their children. My mother, for example, all her life dreamed of playing the piano. And here, then, I got her (laughs). I have always been a child who admires, is interested in everything. Drawing was one of my favorite hobbies, but when I asked for an art circle, it was already the third or fourth. Mom said we would remove the drawing. The head of the circle then said: «You took the girl in vain. She has talent». My younger sister stayed, graduated, then art school, and then she left. to the Republican Art School in Kyiv and graduated from it, entered the Polytechnic Institute with a degree in «graphic artist»… And since I did not have this in my life, I thought that my hands were growing «from the fifth point». And then somehow I accidentally find information about art training. I had everything stirred inside – so I wanted to go there. It was a distant 2010, and it was the first thing that came to me after many years about painting… And then I went to Italy, to Tuscany, where people of all ages gathered – from 20 to 56, in which painting was an unrealized dream, to which it «responded». We didn’t write from pictures, we were shown still lives, we made graphics, and at night we received a million tasks. In a sense, it was a real drill, but it was an author’s technique, found, probably, because of the struggle that the author herself went through»
«I believe that art is something that does not leave indifferent, that touches, opens the inner depths, definitely gives a resource, even if at first people cry over paintings. At that moment, something is released, and you take a small step out of the mud in which you are. This is probably the role of art: not to leave indifferent, to excite. You won’t be able to get past it… My work has something to do with it. Someone may say, «Oil». However, it will not pass by, it will still stop»
«Different types of art, spiritual practices – all about one thing: you just choose the path that suits you. They all lead to the top of the mountain, which you just climb from different directions… The work inside us is happening, the world is changing, the picture is different, other people are coming. I physiologically feel how I change»
«My paintings are very personal. I would say that each of them has a certain state of my soul. Every time colors and techniques are intuitively chosen. When I go to the workshop, I have a lot of options in my head that have already been used, but at least four or five more that I want to try. And I never have any certainty which one I will choose – I sit down to mix paints, take a jar in my hands and then I understand what is and what is not. It’s a continuous creative process when I just say to myself, «Here’s this color, this technique». However, sometimes, while I am carrying an easel and paints, I can change my mind and finally use another technique»
«I feel very strongly that feelings are important to people now. Income is a secondary history in the modern world. If you run only for the hryvnia, you will not get anywhere – everything has changed… Soviet society tried to make life as static as possible. This is a story about guarantees, about the fact that it will always be so, that you can get a guarantee for life. However, it was created artificially, and when everything fell apart, some ran somewhere: some into the woods and some for firewood… Now the structure of the world has changed, the value of man himself has grown, which has always been clear to me… Now the importance of inner world and life principles in another sense, it becomes fundamental. There are even situations when professionalism and experience do not matter»
«I’m different, and it also took me a long time to accept that. In the structure that I need for work, I am different, but still my femininity, sensuality, intuition, sense of beauty do not disappear, my «gourmetness» in everything does not disappear. It’s just that everyone sees their own. Therefore, when they communicate with me, everyone chooses their Liuba, with whom there is something to talk about at this particular moment. And this is normal. I don’t try to seem like anyone to anyone at all – I feel different. It is normal for me when a person chooses what is convenient for him when communicating with me. I can actually take a lot. Can I do this regularly? This is another question»
«These classes gave me a lot of practical skills and understanding that I can draw. That was the best! Everyone told me, «What can they teach you there in a week?» My thoughts changed when I started sending photos of works. Today, 11 years later, when I look at the still life written then, I realize that it is a very worthy apple with butter. And at that time I continued to go to classes, and each time we were given different techniques. It was also oil, acrylic painting and techniques of working with gold, with textured paste»
«Once, acrylic abstraction techniques were developed in class. They laid out easels on the grass, poured acrylic and water on us, and started working on the paintings. And I was amazed: that was exactly what I came for! To draw a still life, where everything is clear, static, everything lies in place, and you just vary the colors – it’s one thing. And here is the understanding of impermanence, when you do not know what will happen to colours now, when there are no guarantees – and I needed it the most. It was incredibly scary, but I consider myself a «I’m afraid, but I do». I did and understood that this is what is most interesting to me. That was in 2014»
«Zhytomyr is my home, my roots, I grow here like a tree. Here is my strength, my soul. If you ask me what is your favorite place in Zhytomyr, I will say that there are a lot of them. It can be a ragged high-rise building, which in a certain situation can cause me mental trepidation… There are some places that remind me of childhood: when you turn your head, something touches you and you cry. But I have no «attachment» to anything… When it comes to accepting total inconsistency, you realize a lot. For example, you can say, «My favorite place is an old oak tree». And tomorrow he will be cut down. And your favorite place will not remain. Why is it so?»“
