Do you have fears? Not the former childhood fears of a small child who remained without adults, and the fears of a person who overcomes the path of self-development, every day working tirelessly, gaining knowledge, and then afraid that someone will reveal some «under»: lack of competence, intelligence, creative potential … The list can be continued, and the situation is probably familiar to many. Therefore, on Saturday morning, Zhytomyr people gathered to talk about the syndrome of impostor, the monetization of their talents and other important things with Slava Svitova – a writer, coach of creative skill, public figure and co-organizer of Creative Women Space. Bonus is an emotional atmosphere and ten short tips for readers of Zhytomyr.Travel
About parents «Our parents can not give us more than they gave. And for some reason, we always subconsciously want them to prove something. Question – why? No one will change the family. Therefore, I adopted a simple rule: you must always be yourself. And sometimes it’s difficult for parents to look at their child and they think: «All children are like children, and my creativity is so!» Well, mys are no longer surprised, they are resigned» (Laughs)
About age «Every person, regardless of age, has the potential. The only question is who will be about this potential to speak with her. A civic organization can bring together a large number of women, leaders, even if they are 30 or 40. In fact, they are ooh, they run! To us in the creative space not so long ago came a woman, who 68. She photomodel and opened her own school for women-models, which «forty». Says: «I’m tired of being old, I’m not old». We are all alive, we all want something. Look for our gang and everything will come out!»
About competition «I come from a small city, where there is a huge number of pharmacies, the market, shops. And you know, all of us buy! When we offer something, see what our product is different from one another. And in the end, in part people go to the product, and partly to the person-brand, which is behind that product. If we talk about Creative Women Space, there are five of us there, and each of us, before entering the project, had his luggage, his audience, his name. We did not merge it all together, but multiply it by five. We are an example of how women can unite. You have to start, create something yourself, think out the chips and wait for feedback from the client. And every time you add more and more: a candy box, a cushion, a hand cream in the closet. Seriously! We are fighting for a client not in the sense of «strangle one another», but in the sense of customer orientation. What does my client want, what can I offer additional? In our creative space in the closet, we put a small box with lining, diaries and tampons. Just put it, because we understand how it happens when it is not enough at this moment. You can not imagine how much positive feedback we have heard! We run ahead – we do not provide the basic needs, as everyone, but we work on the advance. This is a healthy competition»
About Women’s Solidarity «It is important to analyze the post-Soviet space: in what we grew, how educated, how classically we imagine a women’s collective. About him are not just jokes – legends. Here is the question: Why are some women hostile to others? And the answer: «I also know how and I want, but she could. And how dare?» It’s easier to hate someone than to come back and ask: «Why do not I do anything that is wrong with me? What can I do right now, in order to be manifested?» Always and in all circumstances, you must be in good relationship with yourself. It all starts with itself. It is important to be aware of your dreams and desires and gain courage to act»
About Competence «Nobody knows everything. You can collect diplomas or certificates as long as you want, but one day you just have to make that first step. We must allow ourselves to act: «I want to be a coach, speaker, writer, and so I will stand it!» What will be my path, what tools and knowledge I need in the process – this is another question. Everything starts with the desire and the purpose and the permission to be oneself to whom you want»
About Zhytomyr «This is a new city for me, unusual and unfamiliar. I was only here twice: one time, the other – at a student conference. I do not know, neither how it lives, nor what is the cultural and historical heritage here. The only thing I remembered from my stay is a monument with Eternal Flame, with an extremely beautiful landscape and beautiful slopes. I thought that on these banks of the river you can sit down with a notebook and write something. In that sense, Zhytomyr is an inspirational city!»
BONUS: 10 short tips from Slava for those who want to grow
Tip 1 Determine your strengths Sometimes it’s hard, but start with from what: call yourself what you want to be, and enjoy the right to win your own personal experience. Do what you do where you are! Continue to do it again and again, despite errors or minor failures. Over time, you will realize that they came to where they wanted to come and achieved what they wanted!
Tip 2 Praise yourself! We Ukrainians do not know how to praise ourselves – it seems to us that it’s unethical, badly. And thus, the entire foreign world from childhood teaches the child’s representative skills. The world does not know who you are, does not know what you know how to do, what your talents are, and then you have to go out and talk about yourself. And if we speak confidently, the world will accept.
Tip 3 Take care of yourself. Ask yourself: «How do I care for myself? What do I want now most? Do I have enough energy to take up this project?» To answer, write a list of ten things that bring joy to you. In fact, they may not be ten, but much more. This is a very complicated job – to bring joy to you, but without it. Often we are accustomed to chewing ourselves like a lemon, whereas sometimes we just have to rest easy. Complete at least five points in your joy list during the week and then refill your list again. This is a pleasant experience that will help you stay longer in the resource.
Tip 4 Listen to your body. How often are our jaws tightly squeezed? The muscles are so steady, so tense and the hands are squeezed into the fists? With whom or what we fight? Sometimes, as we fall asleep, we realize how much over-strained, because we want to make more, even more. No rest in any way, that’s why it’s important to hear your body in order to react in a timely manner and not bring yourself to burn. Mostly relax, exhale. Sometimes everything we need is just breathe: breath-exhale.
Tip 5 Try to grow steadily. When we stand in place, in fact we are moving back. The age of enormous opportunities and on-line learning is easy to gain new knowledge. Courses, community, events, online broadcasting – all contribute to development. Read, attend thematic lectures or workshops, become part of a professional community. Grow up! And share your experience.
Tip 6 Who is not afraid? Probably not afraid is simply impossible. Often, fears are blocking us when new opportunities arise. We are worried about everything: how will we look, how we will be perceived, whether they will not criticize and question our expertise. Therefore, in order to avoid fears, it is important to develop in its field tirelessly. The art of small steps: what can I do right now, where do I get started, what are my professional goals for half a year, a year? Americans have a wonderful expression «Fake it until you make it!» (Give it up until you get used!). If you sculpt your rock for a long time, in one day it will simply stop being scary. Believe in yourself!
Tip 7 Know for yourself the price. Yes Yes! There are a lot of people who are good at talking about yourself, without making half of what you do. Each and every one of us is well off for certain things. Ask yourself, «Who am I?», Find the answer to it and understand that your work, your time and your experience have a price.
Tip 8 Identify your own values – they will show you the vectors of your development. You will know where to go to get your best done as quickly as possible. It will make it easier for you to make a decision with whom to work, and who with whom, for which projects to take, and for which it is not worthwhile. Let the values become your guide in life.
Tip 9 Celebrate. Celebrate every victory! Make lists of your own victories and achievements, what you have done in the last six months or years, tick the checkbox next to each item. And then reward yourself: buy your own books, new shoes, sweets, go to the movies, tell yourself that you are cool! It is impossible, it is strictly forbidden to exploit itself only, it is not fatal in the end! It is important to celebrate your victories just as to mourn their failures. In any case, then you have to go and do your business further.
Tip 10 Never compare yourself to anyone. We often fit into well-known or successful people, but we do not know how and from which successful and well-known people started. They also had their own point-of-index. We do not know where and under what conditions they started moving in order to find themselves where they are now. The only comparison you can afford is to compare yourself with yourself: Yesterday and yourself today. Because you are unique!
Translated by Aliona Matushevich
